I've spent the last two weeks trapped in my house with what feels like plague but in fact is right lower lobe pneumonia. As a result, I've had a little too much free time to spend on pursuits such as starting blogs and watching literally everything on my TiVo. I've learned alot from these solitary days, and now have a forum in which to share my valuable insights:
1) In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate but equally important groups: the police who investigate crime, and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders.
2) Red Gatorade is much better than the orange or green kinds.
3) To CNN, Anna Nicole Smith's death ranks in importance somewhere below Gerald Ford's but higher than that of any GI killed in Iraq in the past 4 years.
4) If you decide to kidnap your imaginary astronaut boyfriend's lover, leave the Depends at home. There's crazy, then there's crazy.
5) Your IQ will drop one point for every minute you spend watching The View.
6) Blue Cross's prescription drug coverage is abysmal. Gram for gram, the antibiotic Avelox costs more than white china heroin.
I'm sure more will come to me when the hycodan syrup kicks in, so stay tuned. I'm not dead yet; I'm feeling better...
3 comments:
What about "if you get upset because your fiance won't elope with you with no notice, don't go sleep with your baby daddy and go to Paris and marry him a few weeks later, because you might be sorry."
what about "don't sleep around so much that when you die, 3 people claim to be the father of your 5 month old." that's a good one I think.
.
Post a Comment